Inuyasha on Crack
by ZelldaTsuki
Summary: Collection of crack!ficlets for InuYasha. None of the characters are safe from being cracked.
1. You Were Going to Call Him What?

**Disclaimer: We don't own InuYasha, or any of the characters. This goes for all chapters in this fic because I don't think either of us want to keep typing it over and over again.**

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**Written by Zellda**

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Koga and InuYasha face off once again, having crossed paths once more during the search for more jewel shards.

"You Mutt-faced coward! I am going to destroy you once and for all InuYasha!" Koga said, as he started running to his opponent.

"Funny, I was just going to say the same thing!" InuYasha said as he ran toward Koga.

"You were going to call him 'InuYasha'?" Shippo asked, causing both fighter to trip and land on their faces.

Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and even Kirara could not contain their sounds of mirth.


	2. Rye Ron't Row

**Written by Zellda**

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InuYasha stopped walking, sniffing the air.

"Is everything alright?" Miroku asked as the group stopped behind him.

"I smell wolves," the hanyou stated simply.

"I don't sense any jewel shards," Kagome said.

"Koga isn't with them, it's Ginta and Hakkaku," InuYasha said.

A few minutes later the duo came into sight over the hill in front of the group.

"Kagome!" Ginta said.

"Everything alright guys?"

"Koga wanted us to invite you all to celebrations of his mating Ayame."

A small group of wolves came over to the pair of demons, giving them a report, and they all ran off.

InuYasha had flashes of a 'cartoon' that he had watched with Sota while Kagome was studying for a test. The cartoon where a large brown dog and a group of teenagers solved mysteries. Unable to control himself, InuYasha began laughing.

His friends looked at him, wondering if he understood what had been said.

"InuYasha? Do you know what they're saying?" Kagome asked. At the shake of his head, she said, "What is it then?"

"Rye ron't row!" The half dog demon replied, cracking up again.

Kagome caught the reference and began laughing as well.

_ Camera angles to behind Miroku, Sango, and Shippo. They each have a sweat drop on the back of their heads as they watch their two friends laughing._


	3. Squashed

**Written by Zellda… again.**

**Tsuki: It's taking me forever to write mine. But I **_**do **_**have ideas for some****.**

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Jaken and Ah-Un were waiting for their Lord Sesshomaru to return from (once again) rescuing Rin from a weakling demon who thought that she was a weak point for the great dog demon.

Jaken did not blame the young girl, she had grown on him during the time she had spent travelling with them. He knew however, that his lord would teach them the error of their ways.

Jaken looked up at the sound off approaching footsteps and saw that his lord had returned with the young girl.

"Lord Sesshomaru! Rin! You have returned!" Jaken said

Before Jaken could say anything else, the two-headed dragon made his way to the pair, not stopping until he was in front of the young girl.

"Master Jaken? Are you alright!?" Rin exclaimed.

"Ah-Un," Sesshomaru said, "get off of Jaken."


	4. Onions

**Yet again, written by Zellda.**

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Sesshomaru and Rin were returning to camp after Rin went to bathe while Sesshomaru stood guard for her, Jaken having failed to do so again the day before.

As the pair neared the camp, they saw the imp hunched over something, and they could hear him sniffling.

"Master Jaken, are you alright? Why are you crying?"

Sesshomaru could smell the other demon's tears, as well as their cause.

"No! You silly human!" the small green demon said. "I am cutting onions!"


	5. Poor Koga

**Written by Zellda**

**Tsuki: Don't worry, I got two written, so they'll be typed and posted if not by the end of today, then by the end of the week.**

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After Sesshomaru had left Rin in Kaede's care, promising the young girl that he was not abandoning her and she could resume travelling with him once she had spent some time in the human village, if she so chose.

Knowing that the young girl would most likely decide to return to travelling with the full blooded dog demon, Sango and InuYasha decided to train Rin to be able to fight and defend herself so that she would be less of a target for those trying to defeat her lord.

Over the following few years Rin grew stronger and more skilled in fighting, much to her teacher's approval and pleasure, especially InuYasha's.

Since Rin had come to live in the village, Miroku and Sango had wed, and started their family, and InuYasha became mates with Kagome and they started their own family as well.

Shortly after entering her fourth in the village and she was looking for herbs just outside the village for Kaede, she saw a demon that she remembered from when she was younger, approach.

Remembering the command that he gave for the wolves to kill all the people in her previous village, and the wolves that attacked her shortly before she met Lord Sesshomaru, Rin feared that he was going to lead an attack on the village that she now lived in.

She stood and blocked the direct path to the village. "What is it that you want, demon?!"

Shock of a mere human blocking his part had Koga skidding to a stop before her.

"Out of my way girl! I am here for Kagome!"

Not knowing the history between the pair, Rin feared for her friend's safety and fell into a fighter's stance. "You cannot have her!"

_What the hell is this girl's problem?_ Koga thought. "Easy, girl," he said as he reached a hand out to try and put the human at ease ah he walked towards her.

Catching the demon off guard, Rin was able to grab his arm and flip him onto his back.

"Huh?" Koga said, shocked.

He heard laughter and turned his head to the source. There his saw InuYasha laughing and Shippo rolling on the ground, unable to keep himself upright.

"Good job Rin," InuYasha said "Way to show that mangy wolf!"

"He said he was here for Kagome," Rin said.

"WHAT!?" InuYasha exclaimed.

Suddenly he was standing, straddling over Koga's prone body with Tetsusaiga drawn and at the wolf demon's throat.

"I will not tell you again! Leave Kagome ALONE! She's MY MATE now!"

"InuYasha! Sit!"

"Ugh," was heard from both men as InuYasha's beads responded to the command.

_**Camera pulls away to show a human shaped imprint, with two bodies in it.**_

"KOGA! I'm so sorry!" Kagome exclaimed.


	6. Fangirl

**Yet another by Zellda.**

**Tsuki: Just give it a bit, I'll have mine up soon.**

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'I can't believe that all these women still fangirl over Miroku!" InuYasha exclaimed.

Kagome looked and the hanyou and sweatdropped. "I _really _need to speak to Sota about what you two watch when I'm not there."


	7. Renkotsu, Human Torch

**Written by Tsuki**

**Tsuki: Told you I'd have it up! It's not the best, but I have no experience writing crack fics for this fandom. It'll take me a while, but I'll get the hang of it.**

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"Stupid fire," Jakotsu grumbled, tossing the sticks onto the top of the pile.

No matter how much he tried, the cross-dresser just couldn't get the fire started. He blamed the rain from a couple days ago, saying the wood hadn't had time to dry properly.

An idea popped into his head.

"Renkotsu," he whined, falling onto his side, "Can you light the fire? There's no dry wood, so I can't do it."

"Then what makes you think _I _can?" Renkotsu asked.

"You can breathe fire," Jakotsu replied, "That should work, shouldn't it?"

"What do you think I am?" the fire-breather asked, "Some kind of human torch?"

"Well," Jakotsu answered, "yes."

Renkotsu glared at the younger mercenary and turned away.

However, when Bankotsu returned and asked why the fire wasn't lit, Jakotsu told him what happened, minus the human torch part.

In the end, Renkotsu _did _have to light the fire. He lit Jakotsu's pile of twigs like he intended to, but Renkotsu also managed to make most of the Shinchinintai's camp go up in flames as well.


	8. Why He Doesn't Chase His Tail

**Written by Tsuki**

**Tsuki: And here's my second chapter. Don't ask where I got the idea, because I don't know.**

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The young pup watched as the older members of the wolf pack walked away.

"Don't worry Koga," one of them said, "we'll be back in a bit, we're just going hunting." The pup nodded, but couldn't help but to let out a small whine as they vanished from his sight.

He was bored, there was no doubt about it, but until the others came back, he had to find a way to keep himself entertained.

Something brown and furry on the ground nearby caught his attention, and Koga decided to chase it.

The pup twisted, making an attempt to grab whatever that thing was, but it slipped out of his reach.

Determined, the pup continued chasing the brown, fur-covered objet. He was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice the group return.

When he caught his prey, he bit down on it. However, letting out a loud yelp, he realized that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"Koga," one of the females laughed, "weren't you told it was a _bad _idea to chase your tail?"


	9. Slap

**Written by Tsuki**

"Lord InuYasha!" the flea called, attatching himself to the tip of InuYasha's nose as usual.

The hanyou looked at the small demon and raised his hand.

As InuYasha made the move to squash the flea, Myoga jumped out of the way, causing InuYasha to slap himself in the face while the flea remained unharmed.


End file.
